happy fucking fourth of july

• i decided to try a red baron into the pool:

-hit my head on the bottom and bent my arm behind my back

• i decided thats enough and ot get out of the pool:

-got attacked from behind and bit twice by a dog named BEAR

• i decided to relax and reflect by enjoying the hot tub:

-got harassed and tricked into getting shot in the face multiple times by a gang of nine year olds

• i decided to give up on water and change into my comfortable dry clothes:

-i lost my bag and probably left it in a car someone drove somewhere else

• i decided to go enjoy a bud lite from the KEGERATOR via my moms suggestion to “drink up”:

-got hit with disapproval by the owner who resembled a bear just as much as the dog did only more indimitdating

at this point i gave up and decided to take a nap

at least i got to play some beach volleyball and watch a quality episode of the soon to be classic, 16 and pregnant, with my girlfriend; that made up for everything except getting bit the second time because that just sucked.

god bless the usa